you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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