u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
