Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
