The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
