Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
