If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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