What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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