i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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