she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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