totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
