I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.