just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize