Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

(919): View more from North Carolina

wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

(828): View more from North Carolina

i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

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(828): can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later. (919): wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here! (828): i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa. http://tfl.nu/e72d

Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (753)
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(949): View more from California

Getting food. Want anything?

(1-949): View more from California

Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce

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(949): Getting food. Want anything? (1-949): Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce http://tfl.nu/xicu

Replies (7) Good night (1829) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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(408): View more from California

she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.

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(408): she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night. http://tfl.nu/jplo

Replies (16) Good night (590) Bad night (3557) Order T-Shirt
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.

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(780): The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day. http://tfl.nu/xftd

Replies (20) Good night (5172) Bad night (1118) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.

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(202): Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke. http://tfl.nu/as75

Replies (8) Good night (933) Bad night (4358) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.

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(519): Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical. http://tfl.nu/sqyk

Replies (12) Good night (6447) Bad night (1735) Order T-Shirt
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(212): View more from New York

My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.

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(212): My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing. http://tfl.nu/8vqg

Replies (3) Good night (2739) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.

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(+44): Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some. http://tfl.nu/rrxv

Replies (6) Good night (3139) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.

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(602): I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during. http://tfl.nu/nbdy

Replies (3) Good night (1981) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.

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(717): totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet. http://tfl.nu/uf41

Replies (9) Good night (4904) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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(620): View more from Kansas

Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.

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(620): Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians. http://tfl.nu/2mf6

Replies (26) Good night (983) Bad night (4186) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.

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(303): Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans. http://tfl.nu/out8

Replies (5) Good night (1373) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
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(210): View more from Texas

Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.

(936): View more from Texas

As you should.

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(210): Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis. (936): As you should. http://tfl.nu/jcwt

Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (899)
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(626): View more from California

While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.

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(626): While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid. http://tfl.nu/l2lf

Replies (5) Good night (1721) Bad night (340)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"

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(336): I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body" http://tfl.nu/dnkv

Replies (8) Good night (1808) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt

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