this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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