I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
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Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
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Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod