break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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