but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
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I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
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Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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