If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize