He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
