I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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