was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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