I cockslap morals
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
