so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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