how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
