There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
