Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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