dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize