Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
