I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
