please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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