Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
