i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
