Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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