white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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