Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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