they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
