So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
