God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
