Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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