i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
