so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just puked most of my soul out..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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