we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My balls are so social today.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
