i think my mom watched the whole time
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
