I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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