Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They took my balls.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
