Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
