In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
