Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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