At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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