Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
