She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
