I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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