Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
