We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
