The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
