My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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