If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
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