Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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