There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
