If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize