I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
