there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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