u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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