Where is the hickey?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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