omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
