i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
