True but thats because hes a fetus.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
