At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Randomize
