Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
